It's been 7 years since my last update! Since I use this account mainly for getting access to f-locked fanfiction, it's not surprising.
But over the last few months, my daughter (now 10 years old) has been asking some interesting questions about God, faith, puberty, the afterlife and so on. You know, the easy questions. Both myself and my husband were a little stumped but we managed to satisfy her curiosity. At least, she stopped asking questions (for now).
The puberty questions were relatively simple to answer, and handled by me (since I am the corresponding gender). God, faith and the afterlife she asked separately, and therefore received differing answers from her 2 parents.
We have raised Moppet in the Jewish traditions, to provide her with a starting structure to begin her own explorations of faith and divine within. She is technically NOT Jewish as I am not, but since much of the Jewish faith is based around the secular customs developed over the centuries, we're not too concerned. My in-laws are remarkably accepting of the decisions we've made about her upbringing, and have provided her with an understanding of the rich heritage and culture being Jewish provides.
I am not, nor will I ever be Jewish. I am pagan, or agnostic, or a heathen. I don't ascribe to the idea that there's a patriarchal figure that sees all, knows all and sits in judgement of our daily lives. I DO believe in the divine. I DO believe that the big bang was started on purpose, by an overarching power that is too vast, too wide and too infinite for our relatively tiny minds to handle.
So, what's the point of this little rant? To try and write down what I believe. To once and for all, give a solid answer to the question "What is your religion? Can you sum it up in one sentence?" The answer to the second question is NO! I can't! And neither can anyone else. I could try, but that's another entry.
In my heart, I know there is an afterlife. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transmuted from one form to another. So where does the energy of our personality and memories go? And how is it contained? Our soul is that which animates us, and binds us to our meat suit and makes us unique. Where our soul goes when we die is a mystery that we aren't meant to know. We have to take it on faith that it exists and there is more after our meat suits cease to exist.
Faith, is a harder thing for me to set down into words. According to Google, Faith is 1. Complete trust or confidence in someone or something. 2. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.
I have a deep and abiding faith in myself. That I will do my best to do what is right for my family, my employer and my ethics. I trust in my knowing the consequences of my decisions and accepting the results if I am wrong. I trust that there is a guiding force in the universe, and I trust that it is too big, too vast for it to even recognize my existence beyond that of a layperson accepting the existence of atoms.
The Universe does not care if we steal, lie, murder, or covet. It does not care if we eat meat with milk. It does not care that we bleed and fight and die. The God (or gods) that we worship are constructs made by us to cope with the unknowable power that created this universe. The Gods are our way of dealing with the inherent immanence lying in our souls fighting to be expressed.
In my deepest of hearts, I believe that we are pieces of the Universe made separate and sentient. Made to live our mayfly lifespans to enjoy all the joys and heartaches that are out there. That when we die, we return to the Universe to make it richer by our experiences, to allow it to feel the love, and hatred that it helped to create. And when it is time, we can choose to return, to live another life, unbound by the memories made in a previous life.
My beliefs are my own. I don't expect anyone to care about what I've written. Nor do I expect much in the way of traffic. I just wanted to get this down and save it for when my daughter comes looking to me for answers when she comes to question her own trust in herself.