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rowan_falar [userpic]

Long time.....etc.

February 13th, 2013 (12:01 am)

It's been 7 years since my last update! Since I use this account mainly for getting access to f-locked fanfiction, it's not surprising.

But over the last few months, my daughter (now 10 years old) has been asking some interesting questions about God, faith, puberty, the afterlife and so on. You know, the easy questions. Both myself and my husband were a little stumped but we managed to satisfy her curiosity. At least, she stopped asking questions (for now).

The puberty questions were relatively simple to answer, and handled by me (since I am the corresponding gender). God, faith and the afterlife she asked separately, and therefore received differing answers from her 2 parents.

We have raised Moppet in the Jewish traditions, to provide her with a starting structure to begin her own explorations of faith and divine within. She is technically NOT Jewish as I am not, but since much of the Jewish faith is based around the secular customs developed over the centuries, we're not too concerned. My in-laws are remarkably accepting of the decisions we've made about her upbringing, and have provided her with an understanding of the rich heritage and culture being Jewish provides.

I am not, nor will I ever be Jewish. I am pagan, or agnostic, or a heathen. I don't ascribe to the idea that there's a patriarchal figure that sees all, knows all and sits in judgement of our daily lives. I DO believe in the divine. I DO believe that the big bang was started on purpose, by an overarching power that is too vast, too wide and too infinite for our relatively tiny minds to handle.

So, what's the point of this little rant? To try and write down what I believe. To once and for all, give a solid answer to the question "What is your religion? Can you sum it up in one sentence?" The answer to the second question is NO! I can't! And neither can anyone else. I could try, but that's another entry.

In my heart, I know there is an afterlife. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transmuted from one form to another. So where does the energy of our personality and memories go? And how is it contained? Our soul is that which animates us, and binds us to our meat suit and makes us unique. Where our soul goes when we die is a mystery that we aren't meant to know. We have to take it on faith that it exists and there is more after our meat suits cease to exist.

Faith, is a harder thing for me to set down into words. According to Google, Faith is 1. Complete trust or confidence in someone or something. 2. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.

I have a deep and abiding faith in myself. That I will do my best to do what is right for my family, my employer and my ethics. I trust in my knowing the consequences of my decisions and accepting the results if I am wrong. I trust that there is a guiding force in the universe, and I trust that it is too big, too vast for it to even recognize my existence beyond that of a layperson accepting the existence of atoms.

The Universe does not care if we steal, lie, murder, or covet. It does not care if we eat meat with milk. It does not care that we bleed and fight and die. The God (or gods) that we worship are constructs made by us to cope with the unknowable power that created this universe. The Gods are our way of dealing with the inherent immanence lying in our souls fighting to be expressed.

In my deepest of hearts, I believe that we are pieces of the Universe made separate and sentient. Made to live our mayfly lifespans to enjoy all the joys and heartaches that are out there. That when we die, we return to the Universe to make it richer by our experiences, to allow it to feel the love, and hatred that it helped to create. And when it is time, we can choose to return, to live another life, unbound by the memories made in a previous life.

My beliefs are my own. I don't expect anyone to care about what I've written. Nor do I expect much in the way of traffic. I just wanted to get this down and save it for when my daughter comes looking to me for answers when she comes to question her own trust in herself.

rowan_falar [userpic]

My Xmas Stocking

December 11th, 2006 (03:28 pm)

current mood: cold

my xmas stockingCollapse )

rowan_falar [userpic]

Yet another meme

December 3rd, 2006 (11:49 am)

current mood: amused

Well, willowdragon wanted me to try this, so here goes...

watch rowan_falar fight
what should i read next

rowan_falar [userpic]

Book Meme

November 16th, 2006 (07:35 am)
Tags: ,

current location: Home as usual
current mood: embarrassed
current song: the hum of the computer

Hey Willow! There! I've updated.

This is a list of the 50 most significant science fiction/fantasy novels, 1953-2002, according to the Science Fiction Book Club.

Bold the ones you've read, strike-out the ones you hated, italicize those you started but never finished and put an asterisk* beside the ones you loved.


The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
The Foundation Trilogy, Isaac Asimov
Dune, Frank Herbert*
Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein*
A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. Le Guin
Neuromancer, William Gibson
Childhood's End, Arthur C. Clarke
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Philip K. Dick
The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
The Book of the New Sun, Gene Wolfe
A Canticle for Leibowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr.
The Caves of Steel, Isaac Asimov
Children of the Atom, Wilmar Shiras
Cities in Flight, James Blish
The Colour of Magic, Terry Pratchett*
Dangerous Visions, edited by Harlan Ellison
Deathbird Stories, Harlan Ellison
The Demolished Man, Alfred Bester
Dhalgren, Samuel R. Delany
Dragonflight, Anne McCaffrey*
Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
The First Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, Stephen R. Donaldson May I cross this one out multiple times?
The Forever War, Joe Haldeman
Gateway, Frederik Pohl
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J.K. Rowling*
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
I Am Legend, Richard Matheson
Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin
Little, Big, John Crowley
Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
The Man in the High Castle, Philip K. Dick
Mission of Gravity, Hal Clement
More Than Human, Theodore Sturgeon
The Rediscovery of Man, Cordwainer Smith
On the Beach, Nevil Shute
Rendezvous with Rama, Arthur C. Clarke
Rogue Moon, Algis Budrys
The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
Slaughterhouse-5, Kurt Vonnegut
Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson
Stand on Zanzibar, John Brunner
The Stars My Destination, Alfred Bester
Starship Troopers, Robert A. Heinlein
Stormbringer, Michael Moorcock
The Sword of Shannara, Terry Brooks
Timescape, Gregory Benford
To Your Scattered Bodies Go, Philip Jose Farmer

rowan_falar [userpic]

Well, Here's something....

May 31st, 2006 (04:42 pm)

current mood: amused

My lj friend willow_dragon posted this on her journal yesterday. It went like this....

Leave your name and:

1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours

Her response went like this:

1. I'll respond with something random about you
I like your tattoo.

2. I'll challenge you to try something
I challenge you to try a weird food you never thought you'd ever eat (i.e. snails, caviar, raw squid, something like that)

3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you

4. I'll tell you something I like about you
I think you're a wonderfully devoted mother, and that's awesome.

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
Threatening to Phalm me if I didn't behave :D

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
A Wolf (for you the person)
A Dragon (for your personality)

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
Did you cut your hair short because you had a child? (and) Did you always know you wanted children?

8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours

So, in response to her response I'll answer her questions....

Yes I cut my hair "short" (it's now to just between my shoulder blades, rather than down to my hips) because I was too busy being a SAH wife and mother to cope with it anymore.  And Yes I've always known I wanted children. It may only be one child at the moment, but we're working on it. As for the weird food challenge, I've already had squid and raw eel and caviar. I guess I'll try the escargot the next time I'm at a restaurant that serves it....

Now in further response to her.....


1. I'll respond with something random about you
You are the sparkliest!

2. I'll challenge you to try something
I challenge you to try and be the OPPOSITE of sparkly for one day on the Krewmembers forum....

3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you

4. I'll tell you something I like about you
You can really brighten up a person's day with your sheer zest for life.

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
Showing up on the forum announcing that you were a purple SPARKLY dragon.....

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
An otter, full of joy and playfullness

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
How did you and Oak meet?

8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours

rowan_falar [userpic]

OKay here goes nothing

May 5th, 2006 (08:59 pm)
Tags: ,

current location: Home sweet home
current mood: mischievous
current song: Pandora

Willow_dragon has set me a meme to write.

I have to come up with 10 words starting with P and what those words mean to me. (hey! That rhymed! Oh boy....)

This is how it works: Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along.

So, here goes....

Puerile - means infantile. Which is unfortunately the behaviour of a lot of the parents who are whining at Moppet's playschool.

Potty - I'm in the process of finishing up potty training Moppet. It has not been easy and I'm glad that she's finally getting it. Still has a bit to go, but she's getting better every day.

Pretty - Moppet. (sorry, she's on my mind a LOT)

Persian - the name of a chain maille weave that I would like to learn/conquer one day.

Pie - whenever someone in the Krew forum is stymied for an answer or just wants to lighten up a thread, pie seems to be the favoured method of choice. (ie. "I like pie!") What do you expect, we're the Krewmembers!

Pretentious -  my writing style

Pompous -  my verbal style when uncomfortable. I start to talk and then all these multi-syllabic words come pouring out of my mouth and I'm horrified at just how much of an ass I sound.

(three more to go....this is harder than I thought)

Persnickety - what Moppet is. She can be so tidy and proper, but if she decides to paint herself (usually her hands) she will make sure that every square millimeter is thoroughly covered in paint.

Politicians - not my favorite people. It doesn't matter how nice they are, or how grounded they seem to be. The longer they stay in office, the less in touch with their constituents they are. And the more power grabbing they get.

Puce - okay what colour is Puce anyways? I always associate it with some sort of yucky green colour (aka puke green) and now I find out that it's some sort of
pink? What's up with that? Can someone enlighten me as to the origins/colour that puce really is?

There. I'm done Willow. I hope that's what you wanted.....

rowan_falar [userpic]

Yet another meme

April 23rd, 2006 (08:05 am)

current mood: bored

Holy crap! You are:

You're an intellectual. You're never the one to pick fights, but you
don't run from them either, so you rarely get into trouble. You are
also more disciplined and in control of situations than most people.
But when you DO decide to lose it... God help us!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 2% on Mutations
Link: The Which X-Man Are You Test written by alexium on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

rowan_falar [userpic]

(no subject)

April 8th, 2006 (08:29 am)

current mood: depressed

Okay, I don't know what's going on with the rest of the world, but there's something in the air that's making EVERYBODY online that I know cranky. Or at least, seriously moody. I'm the admin of the best forum on the web, Krewmembers (and it's associated webcomic). And there are a few "old skool" members, people who've been there from the beginning. A couple who have been absent more than away. And one or two who come in, post a LOT and then leave for a while.

That's normal in a forum. That's normal in the internet community, where a comment made 3 months ago is considered ancient history, buried as well as Tutankhamun's tomb before 1923. One member for some reason has taken serious offense at the fact that while he was away, the forum carried on as usual. That we didn't die without him. I think. He's never really explained why he's so upset with us.

Anyways, he's demanded to have us change the colour scheme and symbology of the forum, as he thinks that the sole reason it was created was due to him. That is total bullshit. I love him like a brother. He's a good man and all, but the ego involved just blows my mind. I guess the internet is a place for heretofore quiet, meek people to develop egos and make their "godhood" known.

As for MY moodiness, I figured out it was the time of year. My grandfather died when I was 17 in March. My beloved uncle died of AIDS when I was 19 in April. My favorite grandmother died in April. And I lost my first baby when I was 17 in April. While this time of year is a renewal and rebirth it's also a time of mourning for me. It hits me more some years than others. This year is hitting me hard. And it's sapping my energy and lowering my tolerance for a LOT of the bullshit I see on a daily basis.

rowan_falar [userpic]

An Update....

April 6th, 2006 (01:24 pm)

current mood: bitchy

Well, I lost the election. Twice. What's more I only garnered 2 votes for Vice President, and then 2 votes for Registrar. Out of a total possible votes of 38. *sigh* I HATE popularity contests. On the bright side, I can now send Cherub to the General Meetings next year, have him do the cleaning job and I can do what I love doing, which is the duty days. I won't have to be embroiled in the politics and infighting and petty BULLSHIT that the membership puts the Executive through.

My mother agreed to be an Independent Scrutineer for the voting part and her observations were, and I quote "This is an extremely dysfunctional organization", "Why are they so petty?", "Don't they understand how important this is?"

Needless to say I had to explain that the majority of in-duh-viduals who join the co-operative are looking for cheap part-time daycare for their 1.5-5 year olds. They don't understand, nor do they care about what a true co-operative is. They don't get that if the school goes belly up, they as a membership are liable for the salary of our truly excellent teacher for the rest of the year.

Most of the Moms (and sadly yes, it's the Moms come up with the worst of it) are young, married young and are not going to pursue a "higher education". They are still acting like they're in high school, with the worst traits of the whole "I'm popular, you're not!" attitude. They don't want to hear that they've signed a legal contract that REQUIRES them to attend the general meetings. The don't want to hear that the are legally responsible for fund-raising, and duty days, etc. etc. etc.

They don't get it, they don't want to get it and I'm sick of it. And I'm glad that I'm out of the executive for next year. Because the person they voted in for President is the WORST of the lot. She is a power tripping young woman who only sees the "glamour" of the position, and NOT the amount of work required to keep the playschool within the legal requirements of 3 legislative acts.

Ugh. I need more tea.....

rowan_falar [userpic]

Tee Hee

April 5th, 2006 (05:43 pm)

<td align="center"> Rowan Falar --

A dance involving little to no clothing

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

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